Sunday, January 3, 2010

Resolution Road or Sunk In The Slough of Indolence


Mary Edgeworth
Every New Year I come to the same place of taking stock of everything that I did over that last year and analyzing whether I did my best to assure that it was a year well spent.
Of course I always come to the same conclusion and adopt some series of resolutions to better my behavior which I then proceed to ignore.
This year I am setting aside all my usual resolutions...going to the gym, going on a diet...blah blah blah... and concentrating on changing just one part of my personality, my tendency to be reclusive. I am a loner by nature which makes me seem anti-social.
Maybe my tendency to avoid people has to do with the fact that I spend all day in an office that is akin to a fishbowl where I am surrounded by a wall of glass amid a lot of noise and commotion. Maybe it has to do with some level of ptsd resulting from a series of events that occurred over the last two decades. Probably it is a combination of factors. I don't really know, but I came to realize this past year, that I missed spending time with my friends. Oh I see them on the odd occasion if they are nice enough to include me in something, but I rarely initiate an invitation.
I'm also a lousy communicator. Not only do I refuse to have a phone at home, I am horrible about even answering my cell phone. Somehow I've become a text only person. If you want my attention, text me. And my lack of communication extends to my email. There are old friends and new friends that I owe emails to from many months ago.
So maybe today I can start implementing my resolutions to be more communicative and social by reaching out to my friends through email...and still get in a solitary hike up in the hills with only my ipod for company. It's a start at any rate.
Your lives are certainly as busy as mine, with work and family demands. How do make sure that you stay in touch with your friends and have an active social life?
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4 comments:

Sher said...

Not everyone needs to be a social butterfly. I'm certainly not ;) But I found all relationships take effort. And I've seen friends fall by the wayside as my lifestyle has changed through the years. Meaning friends from high school, friends before I had kids, then only having a social life through my kids activities. I too, should make more of an effort.

LifestyleBohemia said...

This is a great resolution. Some things I do that may help - I try to take a lunch break outside of work at least once a week and have lunch with a friend. I often go to the gym with a friend - gives us time to catch up, while still fitting in my workout.
Good Luck!
xx

Jill said...

I'm a contradiction. I have days where I'm excited to get dressed up, go out, have a party, etc...then I have days where I can't even bear to open the door to the UPS man. I'm also a texter. I find that I can do various other things while carrying on several conversations with several friends. I have some friends who hate that I only want to text. I've never been a phone chatter. I'd rather see them in person. I try not to let several days go by being a hermit...plus, my husband likes to go out, so that forces me not to succumb to my pending agoraphobia!

Belle de Ville said...

Sher, you are so right that maintaining relationships requires effort, and it's not that I'm lazy because I'm not, I just put so much effort into other things right now. As I've always said, I don't need any more friends, I just need the time to be with the ones I already have.
Lifestyle Bohemia, what a great idea about going out to lunch. I've been eating at my desk everyday for years and I'm going to break that habit....starting with going out to lunch this month with Blogger Deja Pseu.
Jill, what would we ever do without text messaging....in fact how did society even exist before the internet. Oh...I forgot...the telephone and before that, actual hand written letters! Sometimes I think that I have agoraphobia...then I realizethat I'm not scared of crowds of people I just don't want to be around them.

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