Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Unbearable Shortness Of Being

When my husband died he was in his mid fifties and I was in my early thirties.  At that time I thought that the age of fifty something was unfathomably old.  Naturally my perspective on the matter has changed greatly. At least, when he died, I could say that he had lived a rich and full life. Strangely knowing that he had five decades to live up to his potential, including having two marriages, five children, a successful business and a multitude of friends, made his death less traumatic.

But how does anyone deal with the death of a young adult.  There is no way to put an ameliorating layer of "he lived a full life" on the comprehension of death.  The death of the young is so very sad because it is also the death of potential.  Who would this young man have become if he had lived out his life?  What would he have brought to the world?
In this particular situation there are even more questions about how a strapping young man of 20 could disappear on his way home from a friend's house in Bel Air a mile away from his home in Brentwood.  How the police and coroner could mistake the identity of a hit and run victim for two days after the family had filed a missing persons report, searched the neighborhoods and trails of western Bel Air by foot, hired a private investigator and searched by bloodhound and helicopter.

A rather amazing thing came out of the senselessness of this situation.  Through the use of Facebook and Twitter, the news of his disappearance spread quickly and many more people than just the immediate family and friends could be on the lookout for him.  Unfortunately, by then it was too late but it was an important reminder of how technology can help in times of crisis. 

Jamie O'Connell, had your grandfather lived to have seen the fine young man that you became, he would have been very proud.  
Jamie O'Connell, R.I.P.

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15 comments:

Mardel said...

What a senseless tragedy. I am very sorry.

Tabitha said...

How terribly tragic, you are right, there is no way of ameliorating something like that. A very good friend of mine killed himself last week at the age of 46 - no one knows why. The unanswered questions are the most vexing part of life.

metscan said...

When things like these happen, it makes me silent. And yet every single day innocent people get killed out of no reason at all.
I´m sorry Belle, I had no idea, that your husband had died. At that time, your children were younger. How on earth did you get back to your feet? I know, you had to.

Deja Pseu said...

Oh dear, was he related to you?? I'm so sorry!

Belle de Ville said...

Thank you everyone for commenting. The young man was my step-daughter's son, my step grandson.

Wildernesschic said...

Oh Belle I am so sorry .. such a tragedy .. I also did not know that you had lost your husband.
Both things are my worst nightmare.. sending you all my love
Thinking of you Ruth xx

Kimmy said...

What a handsome young gentleman.
I am dreadfully sorry for your painful loss.
Incompetence is something there is no excuse for, please know I am praying for you and yours throughout this ordeal, do take care Belle.

M.Lane said...

I'm so sorry.

ML

Laguna Beach Trad said...

Very sorry for your loss. I saw this last night on the tv. Shocking. Shameful. F*cking outrageous. Chalk it up to an incompetent, third world police force.

~Tessa~Scoffs said...

Belle - I am so very sorry for your family's loss.

David Toms said...

Taking a moment of silence for you and your family!

Jill said...

I have no words...I never do in times like these. My thoughts are with you.

Miss Cavendish said...

I am so sorry to learn this. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Belle de Ville said...

Ruth, Kimmy, ML, LBT, Tessa, David, Jill and Miss C, thank you all so much for your condolences.
Strangely, these kind of tragedies help to bring families and friends together and certainly that is what is happening in this situation.

Couture Allure Vintage Fashion said...

Belle, I've been away and just found out about the tragedy that has touched your life and your family. I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts are with you today.

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