Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The "L" Word - In Consideration

There is a woman that I know who says the words "I love you", in a deep emotive voice, countless times during the day. It seems that every time that she says "thank you" it is followed by an "I love you". For her, there is some emotional and verbal connection between an expression of appreciation and an expression of love.

And, it isn't just to her family that she says these words, it is to her friends, her colleagues, her clients, the guy who details her car, the guy who delivers her lunch...on and on ad nauseam.
For some reason I find this really annoying.

I wonder if it is a cultural, religious or generational thing? I was raised in an all American WASP (low not high) environment she was raised in a Persian Jewish environment...and she is a little younger than I am. But I suspect that it is neither cultural nor religious nor generational. I believe that she just developed this specific personality trait on her own in order to strengthen existing relationships and create social alliances.

It is probably strange that I don't have any recollection of my parents telling me that they love me, although I know that they do...and honestly I don't really even tell my children very often that I love them, although I most certainly do. My family is just not verbally emotive in that way...and we're fine with it.

When I consider the total number of people that I love, it comes down to my children, my parents and stepparents, my brothers and a very few selected friends....and that is it. I don't feel compelled to love everyone I deal with...or even like them for that matter. But I do feel compelled to be kind and polite.

If you tell everyone from your husband to the guy that details your car that you love them, doesn't it just diminish any real significance of the words?

Does this over emotiveness annoy anyone else besides me?
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metscan said...

In general, we here in Finland spare that word for very special occasions. When we say it, we mean it. Naturally there are exceptions, but I guess we just think that such behavior is a part of of her/his personality. I would surely take distance from someone, who verbally would be all over me. Are you in the position to take steps back from the person in question?

Savvy Gal said...

I will say I love you to friends and family, not as much as I like. Maybe not the car detail guy though. It can become excess if over used.

teawithonesugarplease said...

Oh she sounds annoying - some people do over use the L word but I don't - in fact hard pushed to say it to the ones I really do Love who needs to hear it!

Belle de Ville said...

Metscan, like you I'm wary of people who are two open with their expressiveness if the situation doesn't call for it.
Savvy, I probably need to say it more often too...but not to everyone.
twosp, the words just lose their meanings when they are said to everyone over every thing.

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