Yep, I definitely think that I could have used this book last year when I made a brief foray into the world of Match.com. After avoiding the whole online dating thing for years I decided to take the plunge last November.
Having no experience at this I was totally confused when it came to writing my profile and I made some serious mistakes...I posted my actual photo (not professional head shots and bikini shots that had been photoshopped), I listed my actual age and I didn't write a nonsense physical/personal description because somewhere deep down I believe in truth in advertising.
I love what Amy Alkon says about this in her post Match Dot Con
A seasoned shopper on an online dating site doesn't just wonder if everybody's lying, he expects it. People will tell you right in their profile that honesty is extremely important to them -- then sandwich that claim between more fudge than you can buy in one of those candy stores you see in the mall.
In the 4-6 weeks that I was on Match, I met a total of three men, all bright, funny, attractive, successful and age appropriate (well in the case of 2 out of the 3...the third was waaaay too young but hey...he contacted me...and he had a cute accent) The whole thing just seemed too contrived and forced and let's face it, I didn't have the energy or the enthusiasm to market myself properly.
In the 4-6 weeks that I was on Match, I met a total of three men, all bright, funny, attractive, successful and age appropriate (well in the case of 2 out of the 3...the third was waaaay too young but hey...he contacted me...and he had a cute accent) The whole thing just seemed too contrived and forced and let's face it, I didn't have the energy or the enthusiasm to market myself properly.
Not to mention that during this same time, my drop dead gorgeous 26 year old assistant with a face and body like Scarlett Johansson and two degrees from Berkeley and a UCLA law degree (!!) was on Match and couldn't get a decent date.
Something was just soooo wrong.
Admittedly, I'm jaded but Match.com seemed to be nothing more than an online shopping site for men.
So now, the closest I would get to dating is reading it about it on the web....and trust me....it's pretty ugly out there.
btw...Woman of Experience who has brought us some of the best writing on the subject of dating is serializing her novel Toxic People online, check it out at here.
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9 comments:
I have no idea what I would do if I were single now. I think I would hang out in flyfishing stores. Go where the men are...
Online dating has always seemed really frightening to me.
Jill,
Enough with the dating...I'm over it.
And to think that 20 years ago I wanted to go on one of those special trips to learn flyfishing...but my husband was anti all hobbies that required any amount of physicality...perhaps that's why he died at the young age of 56.
Do you know anywhere that is affordable but nice where I can learn to flyfish?
I've never heard anything wonderous or magical in reference to online dating - especially match.com.
Meeting when you are out and about is so much better romance, and makes for a better story to one day tell your grandchildren.
I agree with you that online dating seems to be like a place to "shop" for a man. While the idea is sublime... the reality is a major disapointment.
Maybe there is something to be said for using professional matchmaking service. I've never tried it, but it's something to consider.
Would you be more interested in freshwater or saltwater?
Harper: Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
The problem that I see with match is that the grass is always greener when you can just always find something new and shiney with each click.
Jill: I'm interested in warm weather, beautiful accomodations, gourmet food and handsome and accomplished men....so would that be freshwater or saltwater?
I too think it is all so contrived. Online dating excludes the natural reactions in many ways, sending people in the direction of list making and transactional thinking.
I have never used it..I like the random life and it seems like hard work. But your assistant. Wowee..she's got it going on.
I would say saltwater...The Bahamas: Fly Fishing Guide by Stephen Vletas and Kim Vletas. They are really nice people and it's a great guidebook. They will even help you set up a trip.
Typically I am the only female when we go on fishing trips. The men love it! Find a flyfishing shop where you live and tell them you want to take lessons. That will get you started. This is exactly what I would do...
Ms R: My assistant is the whole package...looks, brains and she can sing opera and surf!!! But online or in real life, she can't get a date in Los Angeles. Something is very, very wrong with this city.
Jill: I will check it out...the Bahamas sounds nice.
Here's my take on the online dating scene: http://bl1y.wordpress.com/2009/04/22/dating-in-the-land-of-trolls-flames-and-firsties/
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