Monday, March 23, 2009

Dating Rules and Reasons For Cheating


OMG...I'm so confused.


Thank God I'm long beyond the dating scene because there are new rules for dating...and they're not nice.

OK...this is supposed to be tongue in cheek...but it's kinda not.



we've got He Man Women Hater's Dating Rules


1. Boys do what they can, men do what they want.
2. If you don’t know the guy or he is a douche, fuck his gf and/or wife to within an inch of her life. 3. Guilt is for pussies, however if you do something without her consent (includes getting her drunk douche bag) you should be castrated, fed your dick and shot in the head.
4. As with the markets celebrate your victories and move on to the next. Your score doesn’t go up if you keep hitting the same piece of ass.
5. Attachment is for pussies. “Date” as many as you can.
6. If you are dating 2+ at a time, lay it out there, if they can’t handle it, they can piss and the fuck off to an Analyst (had to put a jab in there).
7. Pick your targets before you get drunk. (Saves you from waking up Coyote Ugly).
8. Both Harper and BL1Y speak of the this relationship thing, I’m sorry but it does not compute.
9. Who cares what people think. Are you sheep? Be a fucking man. Fuck em!
10. Never lie, your friends appreciate the rejection/coyote ugly/drunk/disgusting/embarrassing stories more than you know. Just not as much as the women readers do…


In conjunction with The Hit List


The Jewish Chic
The Indian Chic
The Spaniard Chic
The Cuban Chic
The Argentinian Chic
The Brazilian Chic
The Middle Eastern Chic
The Greek Chic
The Swedish Chic
The Brit Chic
The European Chic (Russian)
The Bo Derek (10) Chic
The Artist/Musician/Model/Waitress
The Athletic Chic
The Good Chic (Best Liar)
The Bad Chic (Slut)
The Dog Lover Chic
The Doctor Chic
The Attorney Chic
The Over 30
The Single Mom Chic
The Bridge and Tunnel (B&T/SI) Chic
The Blue Collar Chic (Stripper)
The Ivy league/DABA/ High Maintenance Girl Chic
The Party Girl Chic
The Hott Dumb Chic (Since stripper was taken, any other will do)


(I like the fact that the older woman chic is over 30!!!)


All of this in response to a post from The Daily Flavor

Dating Rules for Females
1. Do what you want.
2. Get what you want - most* of the time “the end justifies the means” in dating. *home wrecking is never OK!
3. Never feel guilty about getting what you want.
4. Always rejoice in your victories.
5. Don’t get too attached to quickly, even if you have to date 3 + men at a time.
6. If you are dating 3+ at a time, don’t let the participants know.
7. Do judge a book by it’s cover, at first! Then add up all the other positives and negatives.
8. Do put in all the work necessary to make a relationship work, once you choose it.
9. Don’t act or feel insecure - it’s unflattering, and if you begin to feel this way spend 10 mins analyzing why, and then never think about it again, just move on.
10. Never settle, not even for one night or five minutes.


OK...so even though this is tongue in cheek there is something still so sad about it.

Oh...it's so good to be middle aged.


Then we have from Yahoo


1. Bored

2. Dependence

3. Confusion

4. Because They Let You

5. Nurturing

6. Revenge

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness

8. The Thrill

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might


This subject has been on my mind the last week or two because of a situation with one of my young colleagues. After 4 months of dating a man that she fell madly in love with, she found out...through Facebook of course, that he was married with two children. (It's amazing what you can learn through Facebook...another topic for another post)


So, I give you reason number 10


10. Because They Can...And They Will
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3 comments:

bl1yl said...

The rules were the same when you were dating, you just didn't know them.

Jill said...

Having to date now would scare the holy shit out of me.

I'm the over 40 chic...fuck!

Belle de Ville said...

bl1yl, yep the rules were the same then, that must be why I married young. I was a child bride.

Jill, thank god that you're married. It's exhausing being a cougar!

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