The Hymowitz article I posted about has solicited quite a bit of commentary across the blogosphere.Such as this article
The Peter Pan Myth: The Real Reason Men Won’t Settle Down
The question isn't "Why aren't more men getting married before age 30?" It's "Why are any?"
The article solicited a large amount of comments, many of them with the usual complaints of the unhappily divorced..."She was a bad wife and took my money" - "He was a bad husband and left me for a younger woman" - "Women are all greedy sluts" - "Men are all cheating cads"
blah, blah, blah.
Out of the 50 or so comments I found this one of note
It’s ALL about unrealistic expectations and lack of adulthood on both sides.
If you’re sitting on your butt with your buddies watching CartoonNetwork, you are not an adult. If you’re hanging with your girlfriends and your most serious topic of discussion is affording new shoes, you’re not an adult. Being not an adult is not a lofty goal, nor is it an excuse. It’s just a fact.
Society is supporting a generalized overall tilt towards remaining in adolescence. Like the lifelong hunt to stay 18 is something laudable and to be glorified. From looks to behavior, the grownup is dying.
Sorry, one can talk about the woman’s movement or the men’s movement, or anyone’s movement and it only touches on a part of it. It truly is about a global avoidance of all things adult, unless there is some sort of payment for it.
It was never meant to be easy. It was never meant to be completely fulfilling or one big date. It was never meant to meet all of one’s needs, that is what a balanced life is for.
And if you spend your time blaming someone else for what you cannot do, that makes you basically lame. But it fits the basic picture. Children blame others, adults own their own lives. This attitude is gender non-specific in my eyes. I’ve met just as many adolescent females as I’ve met males.
So why do I find all this worth pondering. After all, I don't have a dog in this fight. I don't need to get married, nor do I need to have children. Been there, done that.
Well, In the aggregate I'm fascinated with the subject because I have an interest in History. And something historical has certainly happened in the second half of the 20th Century.
And, In the specific I'm concerned because I have two 20 something year old children and this brave new world is their reality. How will they navigate it?
Hopefully OK...my son doesn't have any delusions that any of "The Girls Next Door" are examples of the ideal woman and my daughter doesn't waste her time reading women's magazines and watching Oprah.
Posts
1 comment:
Let me add one more thought to the comment you've quoted above (which I agree with, BTW), keeping people in a stage of extended adolescence makes them more likely to consume and less likely to save. I can't remember who said this, and I'm paraphrasing but it goes something like "economic necessity becomes a social and moral imperative." In other words, in our consumer-driven economy, there's a push for people to adopt behaviors that support it. My .02.
Post a Comment