Friday, April 11, 2008

Harem Hierarchy - How it Really Works

Once again, more juicy news from the Daily Mail.

OK, let's get down to to gritty details of life inside of a polygamous cult...and I'm pretty sure that that this is true in any polygamous culture...not just the FLDS compound in Texas.

Sex was the only currency I had to spend in my marriage - every polygamist wife knows that.
A woman who possesses a high sex status with her husband has more power over his other wives.
If she becomes unattractive to him, she is on dangerous ground - usually winding up as a slave to the dominant wife.
So although I hated Merril touching me, I knew I had to make myself attractive to him, even though there was no chemistry between us and our sex life was always perfunctory.

So, in a polygamous marriage, ie. a harem, the key to survival is to be the the dominant wife.

When you are raised in a culture where this is the the only understanding of what marriage is what choice do you have?

I've been told by many people in the know, that women from polygamous cultures are the most cunning and devious because they've had no choice but to learn to exhibit this behavior in order to survive in the harem.
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Deja Pseu said...

Belle - if you haven't seen "Raise the Red Lantern", add to your Netflix queue. Really illustrates this quite vividly.

Belle de Ville said...

Pseu, I've seen it and yes it illustrates that competition between women in the household.

I find it interesting that while women were kept out of the workplace for thousands of years, they learned and developed deviousness...or rather management skills for navigating their rise to head concubine...or CEO, if you will.

stephanie said...

This concept is true of all competetive sexual relationships. For example, a brothel's key player, and most valued employee is the one who gets the most requests. By making her the number 1 player she has dominance over all the rest of the girls.
In red lantern districts in old-world japan, the most prominent Geisha (and most highly paid) had all the power to make or break fledgling geisha. A good example of this is in the fictional story, "Memoirs of a Geisha". Competition is rampant within the ranks because the only power in a female-run section, such as those red-light districts, is power over your peers.
This concept holds true not only in those situations but also within historic marriages. Case in point, Madame de Pompadour. By holding the sexual favors of the King she was effectively the dominant power of the court. Her faction of politicians found more favor and intrinsically more power than any rival's, including the Queen's faction.
Or the notorious Veronica Franco (the very real courtesan on whom the movie Dangerous Beauty is based). An extremely powerful woman with advantages politically, because her clients were some of the most powerful men. A perfect example of a dominant force, who had gained her power through sexual competition.

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